Getting Me Back
by aficionadwordwritten
Summary: 6 years after saying no, and a career under another name, Rory Gilmore is ready to move on in her life, in more ways than one.


Discllaimer: I own nothing.

Also, my first fanfic so please be kind.

* * *

If you would have asked me ten years ago if this is where my life would have taken me, I don't think this is quite where I believed I would be. I'm not saying that I'm disappointed in my life, just that, well, I'm definitely not who I thought I would be at 28. My career choice has altered, but in a way that I am surprisingly very happy about. My personal life, on the other hand… It's definitely a lot less than I wanted by this point.

I'm sitting here typing this out from Paris's guest bedroom, as we finished dealing with the last minute preparations for our High School reunion. Who knew all those years ago when we ran for office, barely friends, that when we had to fulfill the obligation of planning these events it would be giving us some much needed catching up time. She remains one of my closest, if most peculiar, friends. Even in the six years after Yale, we still talk all the time. Our prospective jobs don't allow for us to see each other as often as we'd like, but we do get to see each other often.

I'm not surprised that she blew off med school for law school. Her temperament definitely lended itself more to making arguments in court, as opposed to dealing with patients. She still doesn't handle sick people very well. Nor am I surprised at the amount of time she puts into her pro-bono work. The firm she belongs to is so large, that they allow her free reign in that department. It makes them look better for it, so she is definitely making more than her share of a living there. I know she is going to start running for political office soon, and her reputation as being a defender of the down trodden is sure to push her to the forefront of whichever road she chooses to take there.

When she and Doyle married three years after Yale, no one was surprised. Doyle stepping back to be a part time journalist instead of the assistant editing job he was offered in order to be home with the kids when Paris got pregnant, however, definitely blew everyone away. But, I can tell you first hand, that Doyle is great with 2 year old Junior. The whole thing works so well for them. It makes me sad for myself, but so glad that they are so happy.

Lane and I are just as close as ever. She and Zack are one of the best couples I know. The twins are starting the first grade this year, and their younger sister is starting three year old preschool. The whole family is going on tour for the summer with the band, as they are finally big enough to have two of their own busses as they go across the country. Hearing them on the radio always puts me in a good mood.

I think Lucy and Olivia surprised me the most out of everyone. Three years after Yale, they ended up together. Yes, together. One night they were out with friends, and were kind of pushed into kissing each other. Very reminiscent of the time Paris kissed me. They, however, both felt so right together when it happened, that they have been together since. They each carried a child, so now they have a happy arty family of four. Their art is sold all over the world, and they are more than happy in their New York life.

Whenever I make it to New York, I look them all up. My little group and I make for a day of shopping, food and drinks. Occasionally Lane will take the train up to meet us, as well as Stephanie and Rosemary. However, Steph and Rose don't come as often, because the rest of the LDB group doesn't know that we are still in touch. I don't get to see either of them as often as I'd like, but it just makes it easier because I don't know if I could really handle seeing all the guys again.

And then there is me. After the whole debacle after graduation, I completely immersed myself in my work. I tried reaching out to Logan a few times, hoping to at least maintain some level of friendship with him, but he said it would just be too hard. He said he was going to change his number to remove the temptation, and I learned to move on. I didn't even try with the guys, cause, well; I didn't want to put them in the middle. The girls reached out, though. They said they didn't care and were going to be my friend anyway. I just had them keep it quiet so as to not make it hard on anyone, and they agreed.

After that, I buried myself even deeper into my work. I had a few vacations where I got to see my Mom and family, especially for Mom and Luke's wedding. I was so glad when they made up after my graduation. Once they were married, Anna was much more receptive to Mom being around April. She lived with them part time, and was a big help when little Luke and Richard, followed by little Rilla, came along. By then, they added onto the house, so even my old room is still intact. April is at Yale now, so she visits on some weekends. I try to get there when she is there, too. Just so we can all be together at the same time.

After I finished on the trail, I tried getting a job. However, Lord Mitchum made it impossible to work anywhere that he had a share in the company. I got lucky, though. A small independent paper in Virginia was looking for a correspondent, and came across my work. They hired me on right away. I did, however, explain to them the situation and tell them that I would be willing to work under a different name in order to ensure that they would be able to stay viable. And R-Leigh Hayden was born. It was lucky, too. He found the paper a year later, and since I was overseas when he came in to check it out, he had no idea that it was my writing that pulled him in in the first place. We made sure after that, that I always stayed hidden whenever he was around.

While I was working for the paper, I did a lot of work in various turbulent countries. I made many return trips to Afghanistan while in their employ. While I was over there, I started a brief romance with a high ranking officer. We didn't get to see each other much, but we made a point to see each other every time I was in country. On my last assignment, My Lt John was with the group escorting me to the neutral zone for the night. Our humvee hit a landmine, flipped over, and started taking fire. While I was wedged in the humvee, My Lt kept me safe at his own expense. He, as well as six other soldiers, died in the attack that day. I was bruised badly, but only suffered a few broken ribs, and a through-and-through gunshot wound in my also broken leg.

I spent a month in the hospital after that, then many months in physical therapy. While I healed well physically, I still sometimes have nightmares, even though it's been two years already. Losing someone you could have grown to love in the same instant that you go through that kind of horror, makes it harder to move on. My Lt and I hadn't gotten to the big L yet, but we were definitely heading there. It was difficult for awhile, thinking about what could have been. But, in the last few months, I started thinking of My Lt with a smile instead of tears, and have finally been able to start dating again. No one serious, but I am now open to that possibility.

After the incident, I turned a few more items for the paper from my hospital bed, but I ended up leaving the paper because it was too hard. Fortunately, they understood and put in good word for me everywhere I went. My former editor and I still speak fairly regularly, even though mostly he likes to tease me that war made me soft. We were both surprised at the turn my career took after I got out of the hospital, but we both agree that it fits me perfectly.

See, all those times I went out of country for a story, I started looking for independently owned inns and diners, so I could go back and tell my Mom and Luke all about them. I would write in this journal about them and the people that I would meet, as well as take a ton of pictures. After I got out of the hospital, I started editing my entries and researching to see if all the places I visited were still open. All the ones that still were, I would submit an article about it to the New York Times. They started taking my stories so that I now have a monthly special in the paper. They even had to start printing double the amount of papers that day, and they still sell out every time. They still don't know it's me who is writing them, and I'm not going t be the one to tell them.

Along with my monthly articles, I also compiled all the stories of the people into a book. I've written two now, with each being on the best sellers list. All by R-Leigh Hayden. No picture in the back either. Not only did it keep Mitchum off my back, it also allows me to travel more anonymously. As writer me had gained worldwide popularity since I completed pt, I have spent most of my time on the road, only coming back for short visits. The traveling helped me to heal my mind, and gave me the ability to find so many more places to inspire my work. It also helped me to keep my name under wraps.

That is all going to change soon, I believe. For one, I have decided to move back to Stars Hollow for awhile. I miss my Mom, Luke, and the siblings, as much as the rest of my family and friends. I am also becoming very weary on my travels. My contract with the New York Times is up next month, and I am debating working for the travel magazine based out of Hartford. I have more than enough to fill many articles, and start a few books. So, I am going to wait for the contract to be up, and see if I am offered a new one, before I decide what I will do. With the reunion tomorrow, I know that I am tired of hiding what I have accomplished. I have a feeling once word gets out there, that it will be out everywhere. So, in the meantime, I am living above Luke's in his old apartment, and allowing myself an extended vacation before any decisions are made.

Till next time,

Rory Gilmore signing out.

"Crap," I said aloud to myself as a glanced at the clock while turning off my laptop. "When did it become 03:00? Paris is going to kill me if I don't get to sleep."

I put my laptop away, get in my PJs and settle into bed for the night. While I know I am tired, sleep jut won't come. My mind is racing too much. I thought if I wrote it all out in my journal, I would be able to shut off my brain. Instead, I am going even battier in my head. Regardless, I am still able to drift off to sleep around 4.

* * *

In my dream I am so hot that all my clothes are wet from perspiration. Having My Lt see me like this is always a little unnerving. I wish he could see me when I am dressed up. Somehow, though, he still sees me as beautiful even when I am covered in dust and sand. I glance in his direction with a thoughtful look on my face, and see him flash me that thousand-dollar smile. Then I hear a crash and start to scream.

"Rory. Rory! Wake up!" Paris is shouting in my face while shaking my shoulders. "It's a dream, Rory. Wake up"

"What.. Paris?"I reply, still confused as to my surroundings.

"You were having a nightmare, Rory. Junior dropped the orange juice in the kitchen, and then you started screaming. I couldn't get you to wake up."

"Oh, Paris. I'm so sorry, "I say before bursting into tears.

"Was it another flashback?"

"Yeah"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

"Ok. Do you want to get some more rest? Its only 6, so you can sleep in for awhile if you want to. We don't have to leave here until 1 to make sure everything is set up."

"Yeah, Paris. Sleep would be good."

"K. I'll make sure you're up by 11. That'll give you time to get ready and get your stuff."

"K. G'night," I say as she leaves the room. "Oh, and Paris? Apologize to Junior if I scared him…and, thanks."

"Go to sleep, Rory."

* * *

By 4, Paris and I have made sure everything is set up at the club for the reunion. We decide to grab a quick bite to eat down the street before getting dressed for the party. Pars has been unusually quiet all day so once we get our Danishes, I finally have finally had enough.

"What's wrong, Paris," I ask. "You've been quiet all day with me. I'd almost think your gone mute, but you were ordering the staff along pretty well earlier."

"Well, "she started off awkwardly. "It's about this morning, Rory."

"Oh. I didn't upset Junior too much, did I? He seemed ok when I got up."

"No, I explained it to him some, but he's ok. I was more worried about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. You never really talked much about it. All I know is you were on assignment, were seeing your Lt, and got hurt. I know he died, and I tried to look it up, but not much info was given on what happened. I didn't want to pry, but if this is happening a lot, then you need to talk to me, or Lorelai. I know you didn't talk to her about it, or anyone for that matter. I thought you were getting better."

"Paris," I interrupt.

"No, Rory", she says, though tears by this point. "You don't get to brush it off this time. I heard your screams. They were terrifying. And you were drenched and I couldn't wake you. I was scared for you, Rory. And hurting because I couldn't do a damn thing to help you! So don't you dare try to pacify me with some non answer. It isn't cutting it anymore!"

By this point we are both crying and making a scene. I throw my tip down on the table, order her to follow me and leave, without looking behind me to see if she is following. By the time we get to the garden outside the club, my tears have dried and my anger subsided. I sit down on a bench overlooking the pond. Within a minute, Paris sits down next to me. I'm silent for a few minutes, just starring at the fish swimming in their circles. I know she is getting antsy beside me, but I know for this I must choose my words wisely.

"Paris," I say. "Promise you won't interrupt?"

"I promise."

"The flashbacks come when I least expect them, "I begin, after I take a deep breath." At first, they happened all the time. Part of the reason I was in the hospital so long, was because they had to keep me so medicated. If I wasn't', my screams were loud enough to wake the entire floor. I had to talk to a shrink while I was there, and while I was going to pt here. I worked through my issues. I no longer blame myself for what happened. Nor, do I blame him for dying on me.

You see, My Lt and I had something special. We didn't get to see where it went, and I blamed myself for that for a long time. I figured, if he wasn't busy protecting me that day, I'd be the one dead instead of him. Instead, I only had minor injuries in comparison. I mean, what's a few broken ribs, a through and through to leg, and a broken leg in the scheme of things? Big deal, I'd have a scar and have to go through pt. No biggie. Then I would just get so mad during pt for him leaving me like that. It was unreasonable and insane, but it was how I felt.

I went to the VA every week for their group sessions, as well as one on one counseling. You see, we were all the same. Me the civilian, and them military. We were a family by circumstance. After awhile, it got easier. The flashbacks came less and less. Now, they hardly ever happen. If I am too stressed, or am reminded too closely, I can go back there. But, that will probably always happen. I still go to the VA once a month to work with the group, to help give hope, like others did for me. I can even think of My Lt happily now. So, you don't have to worry. I really am ok, Paris."

"Ok, but that still doesn't tell me what happened, Rory" she says. "I mean, shot? You were shot? None of us knew that. How did it happen? What happened that day?"

"Look, I know you mean well. But, that is just a story I don't want you guys to know. You would worry more about me if you were able to actually picture it. Mom knows what my injuries were, and I told her only what I just told you. I have talked it all out with my doctors and therapists, as well as in group. If you really want, you can ask my therapist and he will tell you that it is perfectly healthy for me to not tell you the details. As long as I have talked it out, which I have, and have accepted it, which I have, then a flashback every once in awhile is nothing to be alarmed about."

"You're my best friend. I want to be able to help you."

"You were there when I came back. You respected my privacy and allowed me to heal in my way. You DID help me, Paris. Maybe not the way you imagine I need, but I really am ok. If I wasn't, I never would have been able to start dating again. Even you should know that."

"I thought so. I was just scared by your screaming, I guess."

"I get it Paris. Really, I do. But I really am fine. Now, "I say as I stand up after looking at my watch. "Let's go get gorgeous before everyone arrives. I'll even show you my nifty scar."

"Geez, Rory."

"And Paris?

"Yeah."

"Thanks for yelling. Nothing like a good Paris talking to, to let you know you are loved."

* * *

At 6:30, classmates started arriving. Faces I hadn't seen since graduation started milling around me. Doyle showed up and stayed at Paris's side for most of the night. Most everyone was glad to catch up. Madeline was one of the first to approach me.

"Rory!" she exclaimed while hugging me. "It's been so long! I think the last time we saw each other was spring break! You look great!"

"Madeline," I replied, "you look great as well. What have you been up to?"

"Well, I was going to school, when a modeling agency found me. I worked for a few years, but it wasn't really my thing. I met Barry at a shoot, and we got married right away. I'm a stay at home Mom, and love every minute of it. We still travel for his work, but we are able to do it as a family. What about you? I used to see your name everywhere during the '06 campaign, and then you dropped off the face of the earth. I was sure that you would have made it big. What happened?"

"Well" I started to reply, thinking here goes nothing. "After the campaign, I found out that a certain individual didn't want me to succeed, so I started to go by a different name professionally."

"The whole Huntzberger thing? I didn't think Heir Huntzberger was that much of an ass."

"Yeah, that. And, I don't think it was him. His father decided that I had 'insulted his family' and vowed to destroy me. So, I became R-Leigh Hayden."

"Oh my God! You're her?! I absolutely love your work! I have both your books, and have read every one of your travel pieces. You really have made it, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I really have."

"So, are you going to keep it secret forever?"

"Nope. I am done hiding. I have a feeling that my whole life will change after this weekend."

With that, I paused for a second, thinking over my options. Obviously Madeline wasn't as big in the society eye as she could have been, but she still definitely loved to talk. Getting my real identity out there was starting to look much easier.

"So, Madeline, "I started conspiracily soft. "Do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Oh, yes. Definitely."

* * *

By the time dinner was finished, and the entertainment began, Madeline had spread the word so well that everyone present knew who R-Leigh Hayden was. I had everyone coming up to me to give their congratulations on my success. I was asked about my travels, shared some stories, and basically helped to entertain everyone there. Partway through the evening, Paris and Doyle pulled me to the side.

"Rory, do you think that was the best idea?" Doyle asked.

"Yeah, what were you thinking?!" exclaimed Paris.

"Well, guys, "I said," I am tired of hiding. Talking to you this afternoon Paris, and seeing everyone here. Well, I guess I just decided it really was time. I have been thinking about it for awhile, and I just know that I will never fully move forward unless I do this."

"But that about your career?" asked Doyle. "You know Mitchum can still bring you down."

"Honestly, I don't really care about him anymore." I stated. "I have a month left on my contract with the New York Times. I have a book deal for 5 more books, so that is set. And, I have an offer at the top travel magazine. And their owner hates Mitchum almost as much as I do. I am too big and well known now. He may slow me down, but he can't stop me now."

"Is this why you took this month off from everything?"Paris asked.

"Yeah, it really is."

"And the whole thing in New Haven tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'm letting them know that word is going to get out, and what better way to do it then where it all really began."

"Well, it will be interesting. I just hope you're prepared for this Rory."

"I don't think I can be prepared, just willing to go with it."

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Mary, is that you?"Asked a voice from my past.

I turn around to face him, and instead get engulfed in a big hug.

"Tristan?!" I ask. "Um, I didn't expect you to actually show."

"Yeah, my wife is over getting us drinks. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. Paris, could you excuse us a minute?"

"You ok Rory?" she asked, not wanting to leave me alone if I wasn't comfortable.

"Yeah, Paris. I'm good. You and Doyle go enjoy yourselves. I'll be by in a little while."

"Ok. Good seeing you Tristan. We will have to catch up."

With that, Tristan and I were left alone.

"Wow, you're looking good." I say. "Military school really agreed with you. Congratulations on your marriage. Anyone I know."

"Actually, I married Louise." He replied.

"Really? I never would have thought of you two together. Where is she?"

"I asked her to give us a few moments. She knew I wanted to talk to you in private."

"About what?" I questioned, suddenly concerned.

"Well, I heard to night that you are R-Leigh Hayden, and really needed to have a minute."

"Why?"

"Let me started where we left off. When I left here, you know I went to military school. I planned to hate it, but I actually really found myself there. I enlisted right after graduation and have been in the Army ever since. Some of my best friends are the men that I served with. My best friend in the army was Lt John Randall."

"Oh, my goodness." I say, suddenly unable to catch my breath. I grab a chair, and sit and just stare at his face, wondering if he could really be serious.

"When I heard tonight that you were, well, you. I had to say something."

"Then, you know about us, and what he gave up for me?" when he nodded, I went on."I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Mary. He used to talk to me about you all the time. I just wish I would have known then who you really were, so I could have shared some stories with him. He really loved you, you know."

"No, I mean, I know he cared deeply for me, but love? Are you sure"

"He told me about a week before he died. He knew he loved you then, and was going to tell you the next time he got you alone in person. I guess it never happened."

"No, he never got to tell me." I say though my tears.

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Mary. I just thought you should know that he loved you, and would be so proud of everything you have become. I know he wished you would stop hiding yourself. He'd be so happy to see what you have started doing tonight."

"Thanks, Tristan. And sad is good. I can be sad about it now without it hurting me. You know, what I mean?"

"Yeah"

"Yeah. I thought you would. This just gives me another thing to look back about and be happy about. He felt love before he died, and I think he must have known that day that I was going to love him, too. Definitely explains that smile he gave me before shit went to hell."

"Yeah, you never did have a good poker face."

I laughed at that, and it must have given a sign that we were finished. Paris, Doyle, and Louise came over after that. The five of us talked most of the night. Louise telling us about her public relations position that led her to reuniting with Tristan, Paris and Louise bragging over their kids, and Tristan and I sharing funny stories about My Lt. We all promised to stay in touch as we parted for the evening. Paris reminded me not to be late tomorrow night before she and Doyle headed off to their hotel for the night.

* * *

I stayed behind for cleanup. Once I was sure that the staff finished everything, and made sure they were paid, I left for home. Even knowing that it was late, I decided to call Mom on the way home. We were supposed to talk about the night over breakfast, but I knew she would be up just in case I needed to talk. Once I got in the car, I dialed my phone.

"Why, if it isn't my favorite firstborn daughter!" she exclaims into the phone.

"Mom, I'm your only firstborn daughter." I laugh into the phone.

"Yup. That's why you are the favorite. So, how did it go tonight?"

"Well, I came out of hiding tonight."

"Really? And how do you think that went?"

"I don't know. But, it's done."

"Are you worried?"

"Not rally. It was time."

"I'm proud of you daughter dear. But that's not why you are calling so late. Spill."

"Ha," I laugh. "So you think you now me so well."

"Yes, I do. And now you are avoiding. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, exactly. Just a lot more came out of tonight than I was expecting."

"Such as?"

"Well, you remember Tristan, right?"

"Um, give me a clue."

"Bible boy? Used to call me Mary and kissed me and made me cry? Used to torment Dean before Jess arrived."

"Yeah, I remember didn't he get sent to military school?"

"That's the one."

"What happened? Oh, wait. Military school.." she trailed off, leaving us both silent for a few minutes. She finally spoke up. "Did he?"

"Yeah, he knew My Lt."

"Do you want me to meet you at the apartment? Do you want to come here?" she asked, worried.

"No, Mom. I'm good. It was, shocking, to say the least. I had a flashback last night, and then Paris called me on it today. I really was better, and to have someone he knew come up to me tonight, it was just really unexpected."

"Are you really ok, Rory? I can come over now. Luke won't mind."

"No, I really am ok. He loved me. Tristan told me he told him. I guess I always kind of knew it, but to have it confirmed. I think it finally helped me to close that chapter. We would have been great, and you would have loved him. But at least I have the good times. Half the night Tristan and I shared stories and it didn't hurt at all. It just made me grateful for having that little piece of him with the gift of more tonight."

"That's good. It is always good to remember the good times."

"Ok well, I am back. Heading in now for some rest. Breakfast in the a.m.?"

"Yeah. Call me when you get up."

"Will do. I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too Rory."

After getting off the phone with her, I enter the apartment and fall quickly to sleep on the bed. And tonight the dreams are all happy memories of My Lt.

* * *

The next day I spend all my time with Mom and the kids. Filling our faces with food and playing in the park. When it is time for me to get ready, my Mom leaves the kids with Luke, so that she can help me get dressed. It also finally gives us some time alone. I put on a knee length black skirt that likes to flow around me, with a cerulean blue silk top that shows my figure. I top it off with shoes to match the top, and a clutch to match the skirt. The only jewelry I wear is my necklace with a dog tag angel charm and a diamond. As I am fixing my hair, my Mom finally speaks up.

"So, you are meeting Paris, Stephanie, Rosemary, Olivia and Lucy in New Haven." She says.

"Yes, Mom," I reply.

"And you are going to the pub that you always went to with that whole crowd."

"Yes"

"And you are going to tell them that the secrets you are no longer going to be secret."

"Yes"

"Aren't you afraid of whom you may run into?"

"Kind of, but I don't really see them coming to a college hang out to meet up with each other."

"Why now? Isn't that what you are doing?"

"Yeah, but this is different."

"How?"

"I don't know, it just is."

"And what if Steph or Rose said something to one of the guys?"

"If they show up, they show up. I told you I am tired of hiding, and I just want it to be open. I want to tell Steph and Rose that they can tell the guys they hang with me. I don't want secrets anymore. They are only going to eventually drag me down. Things are good right now, but I want greatness. And I can't do that if I let myself live in the shadows."

"I know that honey. I just wish you could do it somewhere you are less likely to run into trouble."

"Mom, I had to live in secret because of what happened there. I'm going to put the secret to end there. It has to go full circle. There is no other place I can do it."

"Ok. Just, be careful. And have fun. You deserve it."

"I will, Mom. So, how do I look?"

"Spectacular. Go get 'em Gilmore.

* * *

"

"Where are you?" Paris yells as I answer her phone.

"I'm pulling into the parking lot now, Paris." I answer her.

"You're late, and everyone is here."

"I know. I got held up in traffic, but I am parking now and will be in in a sec. tell the girls I'll be right there."

"Fine, just get in here." She says as she hangs up on me.

I park the car and do a quick check to make sure my make-up and hair are holding up. I give myself a pep talk, and head in to tell the girls my plans. They are all sitting at a table in the back, so I grab a drink at the bar and head over.

"Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late" I say as I head over to the table. "Traffic was a nightmare, and then my meeting ran late. But, I'm here now. So let's have fun."

"Meeting? What meeting?" asks Paris. "Did I know you had a meeting?"

"No, you didn't. I'll get to that in a sec. First, Steph and Rose I have to tell you something."

"Um, ok." says Rose, as Steph says "shoot."

"So, R-Leigh Hayden is coming out of hiding. I was going to tell you before it happened, but it kind of got under way last night at the reunion."

"Ok, so what does this mean, exactly?" asks Steph, clearly seeing that there has to be more.

"Well, I don't want either of you to have to keep me secret anymore, so I want you guys to know so that you can maybe talk to your men before it really gets out on Friday. I know you didn't like keeping it from Colin, Steph. And that you both had a hard time from keeping it from the rest. I just hope you don't get into too much trouble because of me."

"Well, I don't have to answer to any of them, so I just don't bring either one of yourselves up," states Rose.

"I kind of keep it vague with Colin," says Steph. "I say I collect your stuff because I like how you write, which is true. And when we go out, I just say I'm meeting with an old girl friend. I never give much info, and he doesn't pry. So, it's not really a lie. He may not be happy I kept it from him, but I never really lied. So we should be good. But, why Friday Rory?"

"Because I am going to be giving a guest lecture at Yale on Friday about how my foreign correspondence job led me to a completely new and bright future as a travel journalist and bestselling author."

"That's awesome, Rory!' they all say.

"But, there's more, isn't there?" asks Paris.

"Yeah. I'm giving it under R-Leigh Hayden, but will be outing myself at the beginning of the presentation. I also kind of sent invites to all the guys, and Mitchum." I finish under my breath.

"What?" exclaims Paris. "Are you crazy? That is just insane."

"No, I am not crazy. Mitchum has been trying to pin down R-Leigh for years, and I am tired of dodging him. Plus, I want to be able to do what I do with my friends, instead of having to watch what I say with everyone."

" I get it, but it could be the end for you, Rory." Says Paris.

"Not the end, Paris. I have too much going my way for it to be the end. Plus, once I talked to Tristan last night, I knew it really was time. He said My Lt didn't want me to have to hide anymore. And he was right then, and I am ready as I'll ever be now. So, this is for both of us, but mostly it is so I can finally move on with my life completely."

After that revelation everyone was quiet for awhile. As my best friends, they knew about My Lt and how he affected me. They also see that I am right, and there is no stopping me now. Lucy and Olivia look at each other, and Lucy gets up to go to the bar.

"Well," says Olivia. "this is a good thing. No matter how it turns out, we are all here for you. Right girls?"

"Right", they answer in unison.

"So, my Lucy is going to go get us some shots, and we shall celebrate our Rory and her new beginning."

Lucy gets back to the table with a few rounds of shots, and Steph looks up. A funny expression crosses her face as she stands up to give a toast.

"Here goes nothing," she starts under her breath. More loudly she says" To all of your success both past, present and future, here is to you R-Leigh Hayden. May your future be brighter than even you can imagine. To Rory!"

"To Rory" they exclaim.

"To me," I giggle as we all do our shot.

I hear a slight commotion in the background, but I ignore it as I am focused on my friends celebrating with me. I pick up another shot as soon as we finish the first and stand up.

"To each one of you, for standing beside me as I made my way. Although I had to change my name in order to have a chance, you all stuck with me. Through my darkest hour with My Lt, and the changing of my path from there, you each supported me and loved me and gave me strength. I wouldn't have survived without each of you. The woman I have become, as both R-Leigh, and as Rory Gilmore, is due in part to each of you. So to each of you here, and my angel above me. I love you all. Here is to our futures!"

"Our futures" they all say quietly as they take a shot.

When I got to sit and place my shot glass down, I feel a hand on my shoulder. All the girls are giving me looks, either of concern, anger or embarrassment. Confused, I turn around to see three very familiar faces looking at me.

"Hey, Ace." Says the one who grabbed me. "Long time no see."

Stunned speechless, I stare at the three men in front of me. Logan, Colin and Finn. I haven't seen any of them since my graduation, and I certainly didn't expect to see them tonight. Suddenly the look on all of the girls' faces, and Steph's obvious use of my other name in public, all make perfect sense. Before I can get though my head what I am seeing, my thoughts are interrupted.

"So," says Logan, "imagine my surprise when I am supposed to be surprising Steph and Rose with an impromptu reunion, to instead be surprised with a little reunion of my own. How long has all this been going on, Rory? Or should I say R-Leigh Hayden?"

With that, he turned to leave. Coin went to Steph, and Finn just stood there. I curse myself, and then go after him.

"Logan, wait!" I yell at the figure retreating outside. He just keeps going. "Logan. Stop!"

Across the parking lot, he stops and turns. "What the hell do you want? After all this time, what the hell do you want?"

"Can you just calm down and let me explain?" I ask as I finally reach him.

"Explain what? That you and my friends have been lying to me for years? That I had to find out by having you pushed into my face? No, Rory. You don't get to explain anything."

"Logan, it wasn't like that. Just give me five damn minute, and if you want, I can leave. You can stay and figure things out amongst your friends."

"Fine, five minutes. Go."

"After graduation, and everything between us, I really wanted to stay friends. But, you made it clear you didn't want that. When no one answered my calls, I let them go. By the time we were finished, they were all my friends too. But, when we stopped, I lost them too. When I was on the road, Steph got in touch with me. She missed having a girl around who actually gave a damn about her, not just what name she had and who her friends were. I missed her too, but I knew it would hurt you and the guys if you knew we were talking. I asked her not to say anything, so that was all on me. On one of the campaign stops, she showed up with Rosemary, who missed me too. We all hung out, and decided to stay in touch. I figured when the campaign trail was over, enough time would have passed that we could finally open up about us hanging out. But, things happened and we had to keep it hidden. I just didn't want to have to cause any pain. I met up with them tonight, because I saw it was finally time for things to change."

"Ok, so I get why you did it at first, but why didn't you come clean after the trail? I would have been ok with that then. Why keep it going on so long?"he asked, starting to calm down a little.

"You really don't know, do you? I didn't think you did. Not really. I did wonder a little, but I never really believed you knew."

"Knew what, Rory?"

"I did really well on the campaign. People loved my work, so I was sure I'd get a job right away, but no one would hire me."

"I followed your work. You should have been picked up right away. I never saw anything else, so I figured you gave it up. Wait, back up." The look on his face showed that he was finally starting to get it. Slowly, he went on." No one would hire you? Did they tell you why?"

"No one flat out said anything, they just kind of hinted. But, I kept trying. Until till one day I got a phone call telling me how, not only did I insult his son, I insulted the whole family. And for that, he would make sure that there was no way in hell that I would ever write again."

"That asshole!' yelled Logan, suddenly angry again. "He had no right to do that to you. None. I will make him change this, don't you worry."

"Oh, I have a plan for that, but let me finish."

"Plan? Ok, go on."

"So, once I found that, I started looking for smaller papers. I found an independent paper in VA, told them the situation, and we agreed to let me work under a different name, and that Mitchum never needed to know. So, R-Leigh Hayden was born. I did foreign correspondence with them for two years. After the first, your dad bought the paper, stating it was mostly because of my work. I had to laugh at that. We made sure I was never in town when he was, and it all worked out. Even after I needed a change, they still kept my secret. Now I do my travel pieces for the times, and have my books. I'm finally ready to tell everyone who I am. My reputation as a writer and a correspondence journalist is too high for even him to bring down."

"Wait, R-Leigh out of VA. Aren't you the reporter who?"

"Road bomb. Yeah."

"God, Ace." He says, and pulls me into a hug. "Thank god you're all right. I heard about that. You were hurt, right? I heard you were hurt. Is that when you lost the one you were toasting to?"

"Yeah, it was," I say as I eased out of his arms. "After that, I just couldn't go back"

"I get it. So, you turned to travel. Not something I would expect out of you."

"Well, I had so much compiled already, and I needed it. So, what I did as an escape became what I really loved to write. Which brings me to my plan."

"Uh-oh. I know that look. I'm glad it isn't aimed at me right now. Spill your plan."

"Well, you, all the guys, my Mom and some friends are all going to get invites to my lecture at Yale on Friday. And a certain big-wig named Mitchum will be getting an invite to see the same R-Leigh Hayden that he has been trying to get to work for him for the last year, along with a note that I will give him my official answer after the lecture."

"So, basically, you are going to shove his face into the success you made in spite of him."

"Exactly."

"I love it, Ace. Freaking perfect. I definitely have to go just to see his face."

"Haha" I laughed. "Make sure you get a picture for me."

"Oh, definitely. Let's go in."

"Hey Logan," I stopped him. "Are we friends again? You aren't mad? Please don't take this out on them, they were only doing it to help protect me."

"Nah, Ace. We're all good. I'll make sure Colin goes easy on Steph, too."

"Ok, good. And now, more shots." I smile.

We walk back into the bar companionly arm in arm. Everyone looks at us, and you can see the collective sigh of relief. Rose and Steph rush up to Logan, as Paris pulls me to the side.

"What happened out there," she asks.

"We cleared the air. We are friends again, and he is going to take a picture of Mitchum for me on Friday once he realizes who I am." I tell her with a laugh.

"So, golden boy really didn't know."

"I told you, Paris."

"Yes, Pollyanna, you did. But, you are one to only see the good in people."

"Very true. Now, why don't we get back to celebrating, and catching up?"I say as I steer her back toward the table, where everyone is now sitting.

By the time closing time starts to approach, Colin and Steph have made up, and I have been able to catch up with all of them. Logan told me all about his wife and family, and I can see that he is as happy with his life with her, as the rest of my friends are. I am sitting at the bar, ordering a final round and cashing out, when I have someone sit down next to me.

"Darling, have we met?" Finn asks with a smile reminiscent of our days in Yale.

"I don't know." I answer wittingly " I have met so many men with accents, they all seem to blend together.

"Oh, but someone as sexy as me, you must remember love"

"Oh, yes. Now I remember. Did I forget to tip you after I finished my dinner? I usually remember to tip the wait staff."I say with a laugh as he chokes on his drink.

"Well, love, at least you haven't lost that sense of humor. How is it that we are the only two left not paired off?" he finally asks after I stop laughing and he catches his breath.

"They all look so happy, don't they?" I say as I look over my shoulder at them.

"That they do, love. That they do."

We sit silently for a minute after that. The bartender brings over the shots and my drink, and I sign off my receipt after leaving my tip. When I make no movement to get up, Finn spins my chair so that we are facing each other.

"I'm going to get serious with you for a moment," he says.

When I just cock my head and look at him, he goes on. "We all caught up a little tonight, but you and I didn't get much of a chance to talk. I rode in with the guys, but I would really like to drive you home so we can catch up. I have something to show you, and I promise copious amounts of your lovely caffeine."

"I don't know, Finn." I say. "It's been a long night, and I have a huge week ahead of me. And I'm not sure if it is the best idea for me to leave with you, especially when I have just been welcomed back into the circle."

"If it is Logan you are worried about, I already talked to him. He was surprised, but said to go ahead. After I show you and fill you with coffee, you can go on your way. If not, I do have a guest room that you can crash in for the night. It is a long way back to Stars Hollow."

"Ok. I'll go with you." I stand up quickly and say, "Now, let's go do these shots and end this celebration in style."

The group does the shot as a toast to friends, and then start to slowly linger out. Logan pulls me to the side before he leaves with Colin, Steph, and Rose.

"Ace, I know you are leaving with Finn. Trust me, he won't try to get in your pants unless you want him to. He isn't really like that. Just hear him out. What he has to say will probably surprise you even more than it did me."

"What does he have to show me, Logan?"

"That's for him to tell you. I hope you are happy, Ace. That's all I ever wanted for you."

With that, he hugs me and says, "Can't wait till Friday. It's going to be awesome."

* * *

Finn and I are the last to leave. As he has had less to drink then me, and knows where we are going, I let him drive. Even though it wasn't a very quick drive, we spent it in silence. As we passed into the outskirts of Hartford we come to an old brick building. He parks in the garage, and we take the elevator to the top floor. When we enter the apartment, I am surprised by what I see. The space is mostly open, so you can see the view from where we stand. On one side of the room, you can see all of Harford lit up. On the other, you can see the river. While the furniture is neutral, the whole room screams warmth. There are shouts of color in all the decorations. They are so eclectic, that there is no real theme to the room. But it all comes together to say come in and relax with me. There are a few doors off the main space, but even those help make the space seem very large.

"Wow, Finn," I say. "This place is amazing. I would never have pictured this, but it definitely seems to fit you."

"Thanks. I'm pleased you like it," he says with the happiness evident on his face. "Make yourself at home, while I get the coffee going."

I go over and take a seat on the couch, which has the perfect balance of cushy and firm. From here I am able to see most of the room and just take it all in. The decorations seem to have come from all over, pulling out the feel of where he has been. A lot of them remind me of my own travels. They really pull me in to thinking about my past, so that I am a little startled when he sits down next to me with a large mug of coffee.

"I remember you like it strong, and in large quantities, so I got you the big mug," he says. "I hope it lives up to your discernible palate."

I take a sip, and just sigh. "This is perfect, Finn. Right up there with Luke's."

"High praises for a Gilmore."

"That it is, "I laugh. Not knowing why, I feel suddenly awkward. "Um, Luke is"

"The diner guy." He interrupts. "I remember."

"Oh. I didn't think you would."

"I remember a lot, pet. I wasn't always near as drunk as people thought I was."

"Oh, it's not that," I say suddenly embarrassed. " I just meant, I didn't think you would remember details about me, is all. I mean, it has been a long time, and I don't really remember talking that much about myself."

"You didn't. I just happened to pay attention when you talked, is all."

As tension takes over the room, we both fall to silently drinking our coffee. A few minutes pass, and I am pushed to break the silence.

"So, your art," I start. "It reminds me of a lot of the places I have been. Where did you find it all?"

He gets up and holds out his hand. "Come with me, and let me show you something. Then we can talk about the art."

"Um, ok, " I say as I set the coffee down and take his hand.

He laughs, "Don't look so scared. It's nothing bad, I don't think. I just, need to get this out before any longer. Have a seat, love. I promise I won't bite unless you want me to."

"Why do I get the feeling that that wasn't a joke?"

His back is to me, but I see him tense up. When he turns around, he has a medium sized box in his hands. He comes over and sits in front of me on the bed, with the box between us. I can tell he is nervous, so I just stay quiet while I watch him. Finally, he looks up at me.

"When we were in Yale, I had a bit of a thing for you. Did you know that?" he asks. When I just open my mouth and shake my head, he goes on. "Well, you were with Logan, so I let it go. But I still paid attention. When you turned him down and went on your way, I decided to give you some space. I hoped you would reach out to me, but I knew that I couldn't. It would make things to difficult with Logan. He's like a brother, so I wasn't going to go there. I still kept up with you, though. "

When he opens the box, I see that he has stacks of articles in it. My articles. Both as myself, and as R-Leigh. "How did you?" I ask.

"Well, after the trail, I looked for your work. Knowing your family history, when I came across a writer named Hayden, I had a feeling. Once I read the first article, I knew. So, I followed your work in VA. I thought to reach out to you then, but I heard you were with someone. Then, when I learned about the incident, and that he was the one with you, I knew the time wasn't right. I knew you needed to heal. When you started writing again, I could tell you finally found your passion. I have everything you have written, even the books. I had finally decided to not wait any longer, when I convinced Colin that it would be a good idea to surprise Steph tonight."

"You knew who I was the entire time? And didn't say anything to anyone?"

"I felt if you wanted everyone to know, they would."

"Until tonight." I said as his final statement finally sunk in. "You mean you knew this whole time that Steph and Rose were in touch with me, but you kept it quiet until you decided it would be ok to throw it into everyone's faces" I finished with a shout.

"Yes, but it wasn't like that."

"No, it was exactly like that. How would you know if I was ready for them to know? You just decide to out me to them, knowing that I had been keeping it secret on purpose?! What gave you that right? Damn you society men thinking you know what is best for everyone and pulling the damn strings so that it goes your way. Did you think this story would make me go easy on you? Did you? Because let me assure you, Finn. It won't."

"Rory", he tries to interrupt, but I am already in full rant.

"Don't you Rory me, Finn. You knew it was a secret. Am I surprised you knew who I was? Yes. Am I pleased that you knew who I was? Yes. Am I glad that I finally got to see you again? Yes. But that doesn't change the fact that you went and decided for me that now was the time for me to come out of hiding. Had you just come to me, I would have been more than happy to see you. I missed you, damn it. But this? This was unacceptable. Good bye, Finn."

As I turn to storm away, he grabs my arm and I punch him in the nose. He just stands there still holding on. "Just one damn minute, Rory."

"Let me go, Finn."

"I will let you go, if you wait one damn minute and let me finish."

"Oh, we're finished all right."

"No, we are not. Do you want to know why I decided on tonight or not?"

"Fine, tell me, and then I will go. Just let go of me first."

He lets go, and I cross my arms and impatiently wait for his answer.

"Damn, love. You know how to throw a punch."

"Answer now Finn."

"I convinced Colin and Logan today, after I heard from a few friends of mine. One was Chilton class of '03, the other works for the special guest planning organization at Yale."

"What?"

"I knew your secret was coming out, and figured tonight would be better for all of us so that you could get your side out to your friends before they found out in public on Friday. I know we were all getting invites. I just didn't want you to risk losing any of them in the process."

"So, if I hadn't come out to people last night, or the meeting today?"

"I would have looked you up in private."

I turn around, and walk out of the room. When I go back in, I find him shirtless, with his shirt to his face.

"Ahem," I clear my throat. His head jerks up, and I see his eyes change from sad to hopeful.

"I thought you left." He says.

"Ice," I say as I hold up my hand. And pass him a bag. I sit back down and the bed next to him, and start going though the articles. I notice some have circular dots on them, so I ask him about them.

"So, once you started writing about the places you had been, I had to share them with you somehow." He said. "So, each one with a sticker I have been to myself. And each place I went, I had to pick up something to remember it by."

"So that's why I can feel the story behind so much of your stuff. Because I have been there."

"Yeah. I just picked what made me think of you the most."

"Finn."

"Yes Rory."

"Thank you."

* * *

We spent an hour matching up places to pieces, and sharing our stories of each. Afterward, he showed me to his guest room and I settled in for the night. I lay awake awhile thinking about how strange it was that out of everyone Finn was the only one who knew about me that I didn't have to tell on my own. I drifted off to sleep with a smile.

"What is on fire?" I grumpily ask my mother when I wake up to the ringing phone.

"What? Do you smell smoke?" she asks loudly.

"No, but I figured that must be why you are calling so early."

"Rory, honey. It is almost noon."

"What?" I sit up in bed, look around and see that it really is already noon. "How did I sleep so late? I never sleep this late."

" I know, which is why I called. I hadn't heard from you and wanted to know about last night."

"Knock knock, love. I come bearing coffee" Finn says from the doorway. "Are you decent?"

"Yeah come in, " I answer.

"Sorry, didn't realize you were on the phone. I'll just leave this here. I'll be in the living room."

"Thanks, " I say as he leaves the room. "Mmmmm."

"Uh, Rory? Did you forget to tell Mommy something?" my Mom says on the phone.

"Well, things got a little complicated last night, and I ended up sleeping in Finn's spare room." I tell her.

"Why does that name sound familiar?"

"Um, the three stooges? They, uh, kind of showed up at the pub last night."

"All three? Logan too?"

"Yup"

"Are you ok?"

"Surprisingly, yes. It's a quick/long story. But, you'll have to wait until tonight to hear it."

"Mommy wants to know everything, including if the body still matches the accent."

"Geez, Mom. Really?"

"Details. Lots and lots of details, daughter of mine."

"Ok. But, I got to go now. See you tonight."

After getting off the phone with my Mom, I make my way into the living room with my coffee. I see a plethora of food sitting on the counter in the kitchen , and hear my stomach loudly grumble.

"Help yourself," Finn says from the couch.

I help myself, and gorge myself on the offerings. When I finish eating, I take my plate back into the kitchen and refill my coffee. When I go to do the dishes, Finn comes up behind me.

"Leave them be, love," he says. "Come sit with me and let's talk."

I don't know if it is because I had more sleep than normal, or if it is a side effect from all the food, but I can feel my back tingling from where he had laid his hand. I go sit across from him on the couch, waiting to hear what he has to say.

"I want to know about what happened to you that wasn't in the papers," he begins. " I don't need to know it all right away, but we have a lot of time to make up for, Rory."

"Why, Finn?" I ask.

"Because I need to know once and for all whether or not I should move on."

"Finn, we don't even know each other anymore."

"Maybe not. But I owe it to myself to take a chance. I just hope that you will be open minded and give it a shot, too."

" I don't know what to say."

"Say you will give it an honest shot. Let me take you to dinner a time or two, get to know each other, maybe get to know each other together. And if it isn't going to go anywhere, promise to stay a friend."

"Finn, I was with Logan back then. I didn't see you in this way."

"I know. But Logan was a long time ago. I know you two agreed to be friends. Why can't we, as two single, extremely attractive individuals, at least try to see if there could be something there?"

"I don't know Finn. May I think about it?"

"Yes, Rory."

"Ok. Well, I better go. I promised Mom dinner, so I don't want to be late."

"Ok. Drive safe Rory."

"Ok. Later Finn."

"Later. Oh, and Rory?" he asks as I am about to close the door behind me. "Don't think too long."

With a wink, he shuts the door for me.

* * *

I think about that wink the entire drive home. I never really gave him much thought in our Yale days. I was much too focused on school and Logan. I know he always made me laugh, even if it was followed by a head shake. And obviously he paid a lot more attention to what was going on around him then I gave him credit for. Or maybe, it was just me he paid attention to. Either way, the fact that he followed my work all this time, and then tried to fix it so that I was able to come out to my friends in a more mutual setting, rather than in private with their friends or at the lecture, shows that he may have had better insight into the whole matter then I did. He even believed in my dream enough to go looking for my work when I wasn't showing up under my name, knowing that I wouldn't have given up on my writing.

All I know at this point, is that this is something that I have to really think hard about. And that I need to really talk it over with my Mom. I know I can't go casually into it, though. Finn definitely did not seem casual about this at all. As I think about it all, I let myself into Luke's the back way. I intend on getting into the shower and enjoying my solitude in order to think this over some more before I talk to Mom. I let myself in the door and scream.

"Damn it, Mom. " I say, while holding my chest. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to see you," she says holding in her laughter.

"You couldn't wait until I came downstairs at least?"

"Nope. I know you. You were going to get in the shower, and then mope around here making pro/con lists until you were blue in the face. Then, you would have shown up to dinner late, and more confused. I came to speed up the process."

"No, I wasn't."

"Mmmm-hmm. Tell me another."

"Ok, fine. But, how did you know I needed to make a list?"

"You always need a list."

"Fine. Ok. I did need to talk to you, though. Want to wait downstairs until I am done with my shower?"

"No. I can listen through the curtain."

"Ugh. You are impossible. Why can't you wait?"

"Sleepover with a man with a sexy accent. Seeing Logan. Letting the world finally know who you are. Take your pick."

So, throughout my shower and getting dressed, I talk over seeing Logan and my plan for revealing myself to everyone. While she is surprised at how well he took it, she is also glad that I seem happy to have my friends back. She, too, can't wait to see Mitchum's face and also wants a copy of the picture. As we sit at my dining table, I can see that she still seems a little concerned, but is much more relaxed about my situation then she has been. Then she gets her mischievous grin, and I brace myself for the next question.

"So," she begins." Sexy voiced man?"

"Finn, "I say.

"So, sexy voiced Finn. You stayed over there?"

"I had a lot to drink, so he offered his spare bed."

"And if that was all there was, you wouldn't be so quiet right now. He likes you, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, he does."

"Well, you said Logan is married now. Do you think he'd still be a problem?"

"No, that isn't it. Actually, before we left the pub, Logan vaguely alluded to something, then said he wants me to be happy."

"Really? You think he knew that Finn liked you?"

"Yeah. I think he would approve of the whole thing, especially since I believe Finn told him his secret."

"Secret?" she asks all excited, leaning closer. "Curiouser and curiouser. Spill, daughter."

"Well, the whole reason the guys showed up last night was because Finn knew that I was going to be telling people who I was and that I was going to be there with Steph and Rose."

"Wait a minute. Back up. Finn knew? How did he know? I thought last night was the first time you saw any of those guys since graduation. You been holding out on me kid?"

"No, I haven't. Last night was the first time I saw or talked to any of the guys, and the girls all kept my secret."

"Then, how did he know?"

"Well, it goes like this." I then proceed to tell her everything that Finn told me. I went through the entire conversation from the previous night, and she didn't even interrupt when I came to the part about punching his nose. I then told her about his art collection and its correlation to my work.

"So, he has been keeping tabs on you this whole time?"she asks, with a smile. "That is really sweet. For him to know to look for your stuff when you didn't have work show under your name, well. It shows he must have really known you better than you thought."

"That's what I thought," I said. "Which makes this whole thing that much more complicated."

"What whole thing, Rory?"

"The whole thing where he wants to try to date me."

"Really?" she grins. "And why does that have to be so complicated?"

"Well, it has this whole pressure to it. I mean, he has liked me for a long time. I never even thought about him that way. I mean, I would miss him from time to time, but in the same way I missed all the friends that I lost contact with. And if we were to try, he wouldn't take anything less than serious from me. What if I'm not ready for serious? Or, what if it just doesn't work. I just got my friend back, I don't want to lose him again."

"Rory," my Mom says quietly. "He has waited this long just to try, I don't think you would lose him as a friend no matter where this leads. But, ask yourself. Are you more afraid that it might become serious, or to finally let go and find the serious that you really need?"

"Honestly? I don't know."

"Talk to him. Tell him your fears. Go from there."

"I don't know."

" I think you do." She stands up to leave. "But Rory? Don't not try because you are afraid. Don't try if you know it is because you really don't see yourself ever seeing him that way."

With that I was left to myself in my apartment. I stare down at my hands for a long time searching through to see what I am going to do. I try to write out my pro/con list, but I can't seem to put any words to paper. Completely unsure of what I am going to do, I pick up the phone and call Finn.

* * *

It's Monday morning and I wake up early to get ready for my lunch with Finn. I told him that I would give him an answer in person, but I know I need to talk to him seriously before I do. I go down for coffee and breakfast with Mom.

"Morning, Rory" says Luke. "Your Mom will be here in a minute, she is running late. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I slept ok," I answer.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, Luke. I'm good. A little nervous about this afternoon, but I am ok. Thanks you, Luke. " I lean over the counter and kiss him on the cheek.

"My daughter is trig to steal my husband, you hussy!" jokes my Mom from the door."

"But he is just so handsome, I couldn't resist. I do looove a man in flannel," I tease back.

"Cut it out, you two, or I won't feed you." says Luke.

"Aww, look what you did. You made my hubby mad. You must pass over my coffee, or you shall never be forgiven." says Mom.

I slide over her cup, and she continues, "So, are you ready for sexy voiced man?"

"Mom! Not so loud."

"Sorry. But are you?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Pack an overnight bag."

"what?!" I choke over my coffee.

"You have many years of catching up, and serious matters to discuss. Just want you to be prepared. Anyway, that accent. Yum."

"Whatever Mom."

"You already did, didn't you?"

"Yes, " I mumble under my breath.

"Aw, my little girl scout. Mummy's so proud. So, when are you going?"

"Right after breakfast."

"Do you know what you are going to say yet?" she asks, suddenly serious.

"Not yet. I have some things to say, and I need to see how he handles it before I can give an answer."

"Ok, Hun. You call me if you need me. And give me the dish a-sap."

"I will. Well, I'm going to go grab my bag and go. I'll call you when I can. Love you Mom."

"Love you too, kid."

"Bye, Luke!"

"Bye Rory, " he hollers from the kitchen.

* * *

At 10:30, I find myself standing in front of Finn's door. The minutes pass, but I can't seem to know. Finally, the door opens in front of me. I look at him confused, knowing I hadn't brought myself to know yet.

"Security told me you were here 15 minutes ago," he says. "I was about to come down to see if you got lost."

"Not lost, " I say embarrassed to be caught standing there. "Just thinking."

"Well, come think inside. I have coffee. Maybe it will help."

"Ok," I mutter as I follow him in. I stand there and awkwardly accept a mug, and then follow him to the couch. We sit there in silence drinking for awhile, neither of us saying a thing.

"Rory," he begins. "If you came here today to tell me no, then I'll have no hard feelings, love. You don't have to worry about that."

"That isn't it," I say. "Or, maybe, but not really."

"Ok, then what is it then? Last night excluded, I don't believe I have ever seen you at a loss for words."

"Before I decide anything, I need to talk to you. In a serious type of way, talk to you. There are things you don't know, that no one really fully knows. And, I have a feeling… let's just say, I need to tell you this before I can make any sort of decision."

"Ok, love. Go on."

"Alright, but you have to promise not to interrupt until I am finished. Even if you feel you have to. If you do, I don't think I would be able to get it all out."

"I promise. Mum's the word until you tell me otherwise."

"Ok, here goes." I take a large gulp of coffee, a deep breath and begin. I weave him the story of the trail and the paper afterwards. The history with the roadblocks from Mitchum, to the changing of my name. I also say how, up until I got sent overseas, I didn't have any one serious. That was, until My Lt.

"His name was Lt John Michael Randall. I met him on my many assignments in Afghanistan. We hit it off quickly, but decided to take it slow due to both of our professions. Every time I was over there, he made it a point to try to come see me. I made it a point to try to get assigned near him. We talked and wrote and started to get really close. I was on the verge of falling in love with him, and I found out recently that he told a friend that he was going to tell me he loved me the next time he got me alone.

It was a normal assignment, and we were going through what was supposed to be safe territory. Sometime between them leaving to come get me, and them bringing me back to their base, the rebel fighters were able to lay a trap. It was one of those hot, dry, dusty days. I remember thinking how he has never been able to see me without me being covered from head to toe in sweat and dirt, and how he still was able to see me as beautiful. We were in the back of a humvee, and I glanced over at him, a little baffled by what I was beginning to realize. He looked over at me and shot me the most beautiful grin I had ever seen. And then the world exploded.

"Other than the bruised ribs, broken leg, and bullet wound that I got, no one else knows the rest of this story. I feel I have to tell you, but you have to promise not to ever tell anyone else." By this point, my tears are silently falling, and he just reaches out to hold my hand. I glance up, and see that he is crying with me, but staying silent. He silently nods, which gives me the courage to go on.

"At the same time he was looking at me, the humvee hit a roadside bomb. The world exploding was the humvee breaking apart and flipping over. John landed on top of me, checked me over real quick, and then pushed me behind him. We started taking fire, and they did their best to hold them off until reinforcements came. Many rounds were shot. John died trying to protect me. Reinforcements came and fought them off, but not before 12 other of us, including myself, were wounded. Of us, six others didn't make it.

"My wound was patched and I was sent to a hospital. When I came out of surgery for my leg, I was told that I would be able to walk again in time, but that they were not able to save the baby. I didn't even know that I was pregnant when I was there. I was only about 6 weeks along, and hadn't shown any symptoms yet. So, in one afternoon, I went from having a man be about to tell me he loved me, to him dying trying to protect me and losing his child that I didn't even know I was carrying. I was messed up for a long time.

"I have moved on a lot. Did therapy, and still go once a month for a group session with the VA. In the last few months, I started being able to go out again. I have been on a few dates , but I haven't been with anyone since My Lt. I still wake up with nightmares. Not often, but it happens. And I still wake up sometimes crying for My Lt. You would have to be able to be ok with that, with me calling out for another man in my sleep. And if you can't, then you have to tell me now."

Finn is silent for awhile. I see him watching me and looking at me closely. His eyes go to my necklace, and he reaches out to hold my dog tag angel charm and diamond in his hand. He stares at it a moment, and then lets it fall. He takes both of my hands this time, and scoots over so we are close as he looks in my eyes.

"I don't want you to ever think for a moment knowing that you loved someone who was willing to die for you to live would ever bother me. As long as you promise to come to me if you ever need to talk. Ever. No matter what becomes of us. Then he will never be between us. If you aren't ready, I can wait until you are. But I hope you will give me a chance. I can't promise we won't get hurt, but I can promise it won't be something that is done on purpose or with malice. And I can promise that no matter what, I will be willing to keep you as a friend. Nothing will ever change that again. And, love, everything you just told me, just makes me want you more. I knew you were amazing before, but to come out the other side of that with the positivity that you show? That is a courage that surpasses even the gods."

In his eyes I see he is telling me the truth, and I can feel something warm beginning to grow inside me. Keeping my eyes locked onto his, I slowly lean forward to close the distance and place a gentle kiss to his lips. He pulls back just a breath, and then leans into deepen it. As his mouth slowly overtakes mine, I can feel the warmth inside me start to burn. It is like some that has been locked inside me has finally been able to break free. I feel the moan catch in my throat, and we both slowly pull apart. As we stare at each other a moment, I can't help but wonder where all that sudden passion came from, and whether there was more where it came from.

"So, is that a yes?" asks Finn. And I just laugh.

* * *

"Are you sure I look ok?" I ask my Mom and Finn. "I mean, I do look professional right?"

It is Friday afternoon, and I am getting ready for my lecture at Yale. I have spent the last week with Finn, getting to know each other. We had a few more make out sessions, but it hasn't gone any farther. I guess, in my mind, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to ruin his life, along with mine, at this lecture before I would let myself go any farther. I think he realizes that, too, but isn't worried. He also assures me he is in no hurry as we have all the time in the world for each other. I guess I know too well how short that can be, but he is letting me take the lead there. Now, I just have to finish revealing my secret to the world, and then maybe I can finally move on.

"Rory, you kook ravishing" says Finn. "Very naughty librarian."

"What?!"

My Mom slaps his arm and says "Don't freak her out Finn. Rory, you look amazing. And just sexy enough not to be plain. Very professional."

"Professionally sexy," says Finn.

"Finn, you're not helping." says my Mom. "Come on. Away from the mirror. We are going to wait in the hall, grab some coffee and calm down."

Finn takes my hand and leads me into the crowd of people in the hallway. They are mostly inside by now, but there are a few stragglers left. While looking around and getting pleased by the turnout, I spot Mitchum coming my way. I go to retreat, but I feel my Mom take my hand, and Finn's hand go to my back for support.

"Miss Gilmore," he says with a sneer. "I see that you have rejoined society and are trying to sell yourself off to my son's friends. I hope you don't plan on trying to use him to get back with my son. Well, I am going to go hear from a real talent in this industry. It's too bad you weren't able to make anything respectable out of yourself. Make sure to take a lot of notes."

He turned and went into the lecture hall with a chuckle, leaving me both speechless and steaming.

"Ass" my mother says.

"You ok, love?" asks Finn seeing the murderous look on my face.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee," I say."I'll be right back."

I go out to the nearest coffee cart, grab a cup, and drink it down quickly. After that, I got back to the restroom to wipe my face, and retouch my make-up. As I walk back to my Mom and Finn, I see they are joined by Logan, his wife, Colin and Steph, and Rose. I shoot them all a grin, and walk up and give them all a hug. Logan introduces his wife, and I give her a hug as well.

"So, Ace," he says, once we get past the greetings. "I hear you had a run in with my dad. You ok?"

"Oh, yes," I say to reassure everyone. "I am so much better now. This is going to be fun."

They all look at me, knowing by the grin on my face that I am going to do something, and a little scared as to what.

"Now, go take your seats," I say, heading back down the hall for my introduction. "Oh, and Logan? Don't forget about the pictures."

I laugh as I see them all hold up a camera.

According to the agreement that I reached with the organizers of my lecture, my introduction was short and they did not introduce me by name. Since they knew I was going to use this opportunity to reveal my true name, they said that they would leave that up to me. No longer nervous after the run in with Mitchum, I was now ready and eager to go show myself to the world. Now all I had to do was listen for my cue.

"Ladies and gentlemen, scholars and friends," the speaker began." We are here today to listen to the story of one of the brightest writers of our time. I know many are hoping to have her in their employ, and we are all anxiously awaiting to read her next piece of work. So, here to tell us how her dream of being a foreign correspondence journalist evolved into a new dream as a travel journalist and author, I ask you to welcome our guest to the stage."

As the crowd applauds, I confidently walk to the center stage and shake the speaker's hand. I step up to the podium and begin to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, scholars and friends," I say. " I have to thank every one of you being here. I hope to keep this mostly light, and will be more than welcome to speak to each of you after the lecture. I'm going to paraphrase something I heard earlier today. You are here to hear a great talent in this industry, so be sure to take notes."

As they laugh, I sneak a glance at the flashes coming from the back of the hall. I can't see his face, but knowing he is back there I shoot a large smile in his direction, and continue on.

"Now, I myself couldn't say if I have a great talent or not, but I know that I enjoy to go back and read what I write, and I often hear others speak kindly of my works. This isn't, however, where I thought my path would take me. I wanted to be a foreign correspondence journalist, and I worked hard to try to obtain that dream. Not many of you know this, but I studied hard here at Yale while shooting for my dream. I got my first job right after college as a journalist on the Obama campaign trail. I can hear from the murmurs that this is new to you.

"Well, I changed my name after that trail to what you now know me as R-Leigh Hayden, but on the trail and in my personal life I go by Rory Gilmore. While the reason for my name change will remain a secret to me, it did make it harder for me to find work. When I did, I was willing to work harder for them because they gave me a chance. They are half of the reason I am where I am today. I got to live my dream for awhile, but after living through the bombing incident, it was too hard for me to go back to that life. I stated using the stories I told my friends and family about my travels as articles, and then a book. Once I got into it, I realized that I had found a new love in my life.

"My dream came true for while, until I gained a new one. For both, I hard to work hard and apply myself. Each one of you is capable of fulfilling your dreams as well. As long as you don't let anything or anyone stand in your way, you will succeed. Thank you, and enjoy your day. If you have any questions, I will be back up here in fifteen minutes until the last of you leave."

I step back from the podium to a thunderous applause, take quick bow, and head off the stage. I run around to the hall to try to catch my friends at the back before I get questioned by the mob. I stop short as I see Mitchum walk out the door followed closely by my friends and Mom. His anger is evident by the scowl and redness of his face. He storms over to me for the confrontation 6 years in the making.

"Is this some kind of joke to you, Miss Gilmore?" he yells. "Or should I say Miss Hayden? Was this invitation just your immature way of playing a joke on me and throwing your accomplishments into my face? I will have you banned from every type of print. You will never see either of your names in print again!"

"Actually, Mitchum," I say before he can storm off. "This was in no way a joke to me. This was a test for you. Had you had the ability to walk in here after six years and speak to me with the respect that I deserve, I would have been more than happy to accept your job offer. Instead, you came walking in here with the temperament of a pestilent child. You threw your insults in my face, and tried to rub it in that you had interfered in my career from the time I graduated on.

"I was able to make myself into something that even you admired, and that just angers you more. I am well beyond your threats now. My name is so well known, that even you will be unable to keep me out of work. I am successful in spite of everything that you did. Now that I am out of the dark, so to speak, how do you think all those people who turned me down because of you are going to feel? Not very good, if I am judging by the expression on your face. I am not going away now, and you will have to live with that from now on. Hopefully you will learn something from this, but I highly doubt it.

" Now, as this is my event, and you are behaving poorly, I am going to kindly ask you to leave. If you do not, I will have my security escort you out."

"You haven't heard the last of me yet, little girl. Just you wait and see." As he turns to go he says, "Logan, come on. We're leaving."

"Sorry, dad," Logan says. "I have a friend here who needs me to help celebrate her day."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, dad. I'm with Ace."

With that, Mitchum turned and left, slamming the doors open in the process.

"Well, love," said Finn. "You sure do know how to get a man twisted up."

We all laugh, as he intended, and the tension leaves the group. We all plan to meet up later for a dinner, and I go in to do the question and answer portion of the lecture.

Once the crowd has finally dispersed, I took a seat in the front row of the hall to compose myself. I really think I made an impact in these kids. They all seemed to pull out something from my speech, and my answers to their questions. That in itself would have been enough of a success for the day. But the showdown afterwards? Oh, that felt so good. Years of pent up frustrations with that man, and I was finally able to get my own back. Now, in this quiet lecture hall, I am finally able to catch my breath and let it sink in. I hear the footsteps coming closer, but I recognize the gait, so I don't turn. When he sits down next to me with a cup of coffee, I just keep looking ahead.

"Well, Finn," I finally say. "For better or worse, it's over."

"Do you really think so, love?" he asks.

"Yeah. I really do. He may still fight against me, but I have people in my corner now. And they all like me much better than him. But, no matter what happens now, I finally got my name back. "

"That you did."

"And, bonus. I got to finally tell him off in style," I add with a grin.

"Oh, yes," he says laughing. "That you most certainly did."

"Ok, let's go eat."

We walk out together, to the restaurant where everyone is waiting. As Finn and I join the table, drinks are lifted in a toast to me. We all joke together about Logan's father as he passes the pictures he took around the table. After that, no more is said about him. The evening is spent dissecting and praising my speech, then quickly veers off into a trip down memory lone. Once dessert and drinks are over, we all go on our way.

Before she leaves, my Mom pulls me to the side.

"So, kiddo. You finally got your own back. How do you feel?" she asks.

"Honestly, Mom."I say. " I feel ready to move on to a new chapter."

"I'm glad honey. Now, you go and go home with your sexy accent man. We celebrate in style at Luke's tomorrow night for dinner."

"Ok, Mom. Drive safe. Love you!"

"Love you too, Ror."

"You ready to go?" Finn asks from behind me.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

When we get back to his place, he goes straight to the coffee pot. When he finishes setting it up, he turns to find me standing in the middle of the room watching him. He slowly comes over to stand in front of me. Taking my hands, he just looks at me.

"It's been a long day for you," he says.

"Yes, it has."

"Do you want to stay up and talk?"

"No, I don't"

"Did you just want to go to sleep?"

"No, I don't" I reply as I slowly reach up to kiss him. It begins softly, but deepens more quickly than our first kiss did. Within a moment, we are both breathless. Finn pulls away and looks down into my eyes, silently asking the question that I am finally ready to answer. "Take me to bed, Finn."

"Are you sure, love?"his voice soft yet hopeful.

"Finn, I'm more than ready. I've been waiting for this."

"Oh, not as long as me, love. Not as long as me."

He takes my hand and leads me to his room. He kisses me once again, and this time we both let ourselves give into the heat that it promises.

* * *

Its one year later, and I am once again in my car.

"Where are you?" yells Paris, and I get an odd sense of déjà vu.

"I'm pulling in now, Paris. I hit traffic." I reply.

"Whatever. Just get here," she says as she hangs up.

"Pushy woman, that Paris," says Finn from the passenger seat.

"Yeah," I say. "But you can't help but love her."

We walk into the pub together and see that we are the last to arrive. Paris and Doyle, Logan and his wife Lynn, Colin and Steph, Rose and her new boyfriend Tony, Tristan and Louise, and Lucy and Olivia are all waiting patiently at a table with food and drinks. We go say hello, and then get our own drinks and a round of shots for the gang. As everyone grabs a glass, I stand up and raise mine.

"I'd like to give a toast to you all," I say. "This last year has been quite a ride. From reuniting with old friends, to forming new bonds, I am so grateful to have you all by my side. This time last year I was unsure where my career and life were headed. Well, my career has just gotten more fulfilling, and my life has gotten fuller. From reclaiming my name, to officially changing it three months age, you were all by my side lending me support and congratulations. I love each and every one of you, and I hope that we may continue this tradition of meeting here every year. So, a toast to friends who are family."

"Wait, where is your shot?" asks Paris.

"Oh, no drinking for her for at least 8 more months," answers Finn.

"To family." They salute and drink with smiles on all of their faces.


End file.
